Losing To Win

There are several circumstances in life in which we can only win by losing, in which we can only go up by going down, in which humbling ourselves gets us exalted. And one such circumstance is forgiveness.

I recently read a great book on this issue by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Let me share with you a few beautiful insights she teaches us;

Forgiveness does not mean what the offender did is okay or not painful. Pain is real and your feelings are real, and whatever sin they committed against you is real.(God has ordained both civil and Church authority to deal with such issues, it is possible to forgive someone and still report them to an authority who should deal with this issue).

Forgiveness can be very very very hard sometimes, but it is the ONLY way to freedom. Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping your offender will die. It allows us to be enslaved by bitterness which fills our lives with darkness and makes us very vulnerable to all kinds of sin, especially sexual sin. 

Forgiveness is only possible by God's grace. And only God can forgive sin, we are not naturally able to, so when hard pressed, ask for God's forgiveness to flow through your heart for this person. 

Forgiveness is getting the offender off your hook and putting them on God's hook. Leaving God Himself to deal with them.

We forgive because of Jesus Christ who died on the cross in a very wretched way to pay for our sins and our offenders' sins (read Matthew 18, The parable of the unforgiving servant). God has forgiven us way way more than we will ever need to forgive others.

Forgiveness is a decision that is made at once, not a process. You decide to forgive, then you say, "so and so, I forgive you for doing abc". THEN you go through the healing process. 

Forgiveness is not forgetting. God allows us to remember certain instances so that we can relate with others who are hurting the same way and comfort them with the comfort that we ourselves have received from God.

Forgiveness does not always make things better. Some trials we go through last so much longer than we wish them too, yet we are called to forgive every time we are offended.

Forgiveness does not mean the pain and anger will go immediately after you forgive, but after you do, God will give you the grace to be free from the anger and bitterness.

The more you practice forgiveness(exercising forbearance), the easier it will be to forgive the bigger issues that come your way. 

Forgiveness requires that we go "above and beyond" just releasing our offenders. Love them, pray for them, bless them, overcome evil with good in your words and actions(Romans 12:17-21).

Pain and trouble will always come, what matters is how you will respond to them, choose to forgive and walk in freedom.

The glory of Christianity is to conquer by forgiveness - William Blake