Complaining

Complaining is not a bad thing if done properly. One or two calm conversations about what problems there are, is actually beneficial in a healthy relationship. That way, problems can be worked out and the relationship grows stronger. It is very bad to sweep important things under the carpet. It slowly kills any relationship.

However, constant complaining is the one thing that drains the energy out of those around us. When it is made a habit, one will complain about almost anything and everything. This is a very disturbing thing.

Sometimes we do experience long seasons of problems or discomforts. A long illness, a pregnancy, unemployment and financial struggles, living with a problematic person, etc, etc.. These circumstances will prove to be really trying. But there is a solution; Gratitude. 

The one thing that dispels all complaining is gratitude. Being thankful at all times, in every season. Now, things may be hard, but there are blessings too amidst those troubles. Just look for them and choose to be grateful. Capitalize on your blessings and your problems will fade in comparison.

And if you are living with someone going through such long trying times, it is the best opportunity to show your love for them by patiently supporting them, being kind to them, and offering any kind of physical or material support they may need.

A beautiful hymn goes, 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

  In the light of His glory and grace.

Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without complaining and arguing"

Making the Best out of Anger

It is okay to get angry, even God gets angry and since we are made in His image, we should not be surprised. There are so many events that trigger these monstrous feelings in us. 

Ephesians 4:26 " 'In your anger do not sin', Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."

So, what is important is that you pause, and evaluate your reaction. That way, you will save your relationship a lot of potential damage. Choose wisely then, to make the best out of your anger.

When angry;

• Recognize your wound
• Let God's love fill your heart(through prayer and intention)
• Do not be overcome by evil
• Overcome evil with good(very intentionally)

Anger is actually a blessing in disguise, when handled properly. It can motivate us to do things better, to grow stronger, and to know what how better to go about things in future. 

 Proverbs 29:11

A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back.

Motives

Why do we do the things we do? What are our motives? 

The LORD does not care about what things look like on the outside but He carefully examines the attitudes of our hearts. So, what motivates us? 

Sometimes it is because we want to give people a certain impression, and other times it's because it is the easiest thing to do.

Sometimes our feelings guide us, and other times our knowledge guides us. 

Sometimes it will be because it is wrong(out of spite), and other times because it is right(desire to be holy).

Out of all the myriad of reasons we could possibly do something, one pleases God. Whatever is done in His name and for His glory.

Psalm 19:14 "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight , O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer"

Colossians 3:17 "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the LORD Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

Boasting

Love does not boast. Why? Because boasting is an attempt to make yourself look better in the eyes of whoever is listening and many times, attempts to make those listening feel worse about themselves. This is not loving at all. 

J.R Miller had some thoughts to share about this;
The spirit which prompts a man to talk about himself, however it may be disguised, is really pride and self-conceit; and self conceit is not only a disfiguring blemish in a character; it is also a mark of weakness in a life. 
Its revealing always makes one less strong and influential with one’s fellows. Instead of taking the self-conceited man’s own estimate of himself, people discount it so heavily that they are likely, on account of his self praise--to rate him much below his true value. 
Thus a man's very objective in talking about himself, and proclaiming his own virtues and good deeds--is defeated! He does not receive praise from men--but dislike and depreciation instead!

Let us train ourselves out of the habit of talking about ourselves, and especially praising ourselves before men. Whenever we get the opportunity, let us talk about God and show real interest about the people to whom we are talking.

1Cor 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud"