Change

Change is not an easy part of life especially if it has to do with our habits, attitudes or character. It is not easy but it is possible. 

Here is the best illustration I ever read on change by Lou Priolo;
If I had a glass(representing heart or mind) of water and I wanted to empty it, I may pour out the water but someone may refill it again. To make the glass harder to be refilled, I'd start  by pouring into the glass something heavier than the water-perhaps little grains of sand, or maybe a dense fluid. These would displace the water from the bottom. As I fill it, all the water will eventually spill out over the glass.  

The water is like sin in our hearts, bad attitudes in our minds or flaws in our character. The sand or denser liquid is the biblical solution.

It is hard to change by saying I will stop doing this. From today on wards, I am no longer like this, or like that. That very easily fails. It works best when you start intentionally doing the right thing. For example, If you would want to stop lying, you do not just keep quiet, you speak the truth. If you want to stop stealing, you start giving and replace the urge to take with the urge to give. You replace the habit or attitude with it's biblical antidote.

Colossians 3

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[b] 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised,barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

With the Holy Spirit's help, it is possible to break the evil influences on your life. 
Put off, put on. Put off, put on. Put off, put on.

Taking Responsibility

Oh how easy it is to blame others for what goes wrong. Somehow, it feels easier if it is someone else's fault. The government, background, parents, children, friend, employees, employers, service provider, the devil, even God.

It is easier because it makes us feel good about ourselves(another ugly tentacle of deadly pride-self exaltation), downplaying our own weaknesses, foolishness and sinfulness.

Now, definitely, no one factor is usually solely responsible for something wrong. It is usually a combination of factors. If, for example, I got involved in a car accident, it could be because of the my bad driving, someone else's bad driving, the car, the road, the devil...etc. Most probably a combination of these factors. 

Change starts with acknowledgement. If you do not acknowledge your own weakness, you will not have reason to do anything about it.

Most of what we suffer for in this world is a result of our own foolishness. Proverbs 19:3 "A person's own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the LORD."

It is definitely easy to blame the devil for what you may be suffering with, but if you do not wisely open your eyes to the reality, you will continue suffering because you will not change your ways. For example, if from the above example, my bad driving was the major cause of the accident and I did take responsibility but continued blaming the devil, wouldn't I continue placing myself in the same danger? 

A responsible person is wise and therefore honorable because they judge their own actions and know when they are wrong and do something about it.

Serving Others

Service is a manifestation of selflessness, a form of humility that comes from wanting to provide for others or help them in any way they need.

In our world today, most of what we do is either for our benefit or within our comfort(if doing someone a 'favor'). Our culture promotes self; my happiness, my comfort zone, my time, my money, my, my, my....

Rarely will anything out of the 'my' category be worth it. 

We have lost the nobility of serving others above self, honoring others above self, or allowing to be inconvenienced for the benefit of others.

Lack of a heart of service robs us of the joy of the fulfillment that comes from sacrifice and more so self sacrifice. 

When we work hard it is usually because we expect some form of payment or reward. What if we knew there was totally no reward at the end, would we still pour our energies out?

God has given each of us different blessings and abilities. Activities we are able to carry out joyfully and passionately. Please use these to bless those around you. To serve them selflessly, waiting for no reward. Your Father in heaven will reward you in due time.

1 Peter 4:10 "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms."

Despising People

We each have a treasure, a strength, a blessing, that not everyone around us has. You will definitely always be more blessed than some people around you, one way or another. Likewise, always keep in my mind that they will always have something you do not have and may need at one point in your life.

So, you may despise someone because they look 'beneath' you today, and tomorrow need something from them that only them can do for you. What do you do then? Awkwardly make amends because you have to and go ahead to request them for help.

To save yourself a lot of potential embarrassment, treat everyone around you with the respect due to them as fellow human beings. That way you won't have anything to be ashamed of when you need them.

More importantly, despising people is just one other ugly tentacle of pride. Pride is like a deadly animal with so many tentacles. When you chop one, another appears somehow. May we always be aware of them as they appear in our hearts and strive with God's grace to chop them out. 

Proverbs 11:12 "He who despises his neighbor lacks sense, But a man of understanding keeps silent."

Romans 12:16 "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." 

Fairness in life

The perspective of fair, treating people equally without favoritism or discrimination, is what I am writing about today.

There has never and will never be a time when there is equality of anything in this world. And it is a good thing.

There will always be;

• The poor and the rich
• The sick and the healthy
• Servants and masters
• Employees and employers
• The weak and the strong
• The short and the tall
• The ugly and the beautiful
• The foolish and the wise
• The dull and the smart

And so many such differences. All these make life beautiful and interesting.

Some differences are permanent and nothing can done about them. The only solution to them is using them to your advantage and not wallowing in self pity.

Other differences are temporary, and to change them we may strive to make them better, the best and possible way we know how.

We each receive different blessings from God. How we use them is totally up to us. so just because your abilities and talents are sleeping peacefully in your brain doesn't mean you do not have them.

Our different abilities and talents enable us to need each other, coexist and depend on each other enabling us to have relationships.

Without these differences, we would have no need for qualities like gratitude, humility, hard work and purpose; all of which make us stronger and better people. 

Romans 9:15, "For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."

The Power of Principles

"Manners maketh man." I love this saying because it is so true. A person is defined by the principles by which they live. When you develop your own principles and are true to them, they will define you..

There are so many definitions of 'Principle', this version from the Oxford dictionary brings it out well; a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning.

In my understanding, it is the basis for every event.

The whole earth and everything in it is governed by principles. I won't go scientific here, but since I write about life, here we go;

Principles in life work regardless of the circumstances, regardless of whether you believe in them or not. Whether you are aware of them or not.

A few examples; 

Cause and effect(what goes up comes down, karma, reaping what you sow). 

Hard work pays.

With the measure you give, you receive.

Good is stronger than evil.

These principles are bigger than we are because they govern the world, and we inevitably abide by them. It is therefore beneficial for us to understand them. 

There are personal principles we can create, in order to live by. Like time management, dress code, eating habits, sleeping habits, social habits(etiquette), pass-times, work ethic, spiritual disciplines... and several others.

When we decide what kind of lifestyle we would want to lead, it goes without saying that we have to determine what principles to live by in order to achieve that lifestyle.

Principled people therefore lead admirable lives because they have determined how to lead their lives and purpose to follow through. They are not swept by any winds that blow across them and they are better able to achieve goals they have set out to achieve.

If you want to know all the principles that govern this world, carefully study your Bible. And may the principles there help shape your personal principles.

Proverbs 4:7 "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting, get understanding."

Identity Crisis

Who am I? I hold this question in deep respect.. One of those questions that make you pause and think. Some of us dread who we are, especially because who we are is tied to so many things. And when these things ain't pretty, we prefer to not be identified. Others are so ready to introduce themselves because it is quite beautiful, their history and background.

We go through things in life that definitely become part of us;

Physical backgrounds determine our race, height, looks and other physical qualities.

Spiritual backgrounds determine what we believe early on in life.

Emotional backgrounds affect us in such a way as to either traumatize us or build our security.

Economic backgrounds determine our exposure and experiences.

Family backgrounds determine our social values.

All of these affect us and we may not choose what affects us but when we get to know better, we can choose how these circumstances affect us. The bad experiences need not break us, and if we are already broken, we can get up and rise above our pains or losses. Becoming better and stronger people. Open your eyes and look for it, look for the blessing that can come out of your trauma.

As we grow older and it gets easier to pave our own paths, we start building our own lives and stories, most of which will be part of the next generation. Since we have such a grand opportunity, may we make the best out of it.

All these things can change but one thing is solid, our identity in Christ. Who does Christ say we are;

Ephesians 1-3 explains fully our identity in Christ;

• We are God's workmanship
• Blessed
• Chosen and adopted
• Redeemed and saved
• Created to do good works
• Marked with the seal of the Holy Spirit
• Your body is God's temple

When you believe and live by who God says you are, then you find freedom from all the bondage and baggage of the effects of a messed up background.

I too grew up in circumstances I badly wished could change, but things just got worse and worse, I was emotionally traumatized as a young adult. The pain has never left me but I have learnt to live with it. And God's strength and grace continue to see me through my weaknesses.

1 Peter 2:9 "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."

Beautiful Life

What makes one's life beautiful and the other one's dull? Could it be resources, blessings, intelligence? Out of the many reasons we may have, here are a few I believe greatly determine the charisma with which we live in life;

LOVE 

Being able to give love to those in our lives, whether they are with us temporarily or permanently and being able to receive and enjoy love from those that love us.

CONTENTMENT

Being able to enjoy what we have, not allowing what we do not have to blur the great blessings we already have. Material possessions are never enough for the discontented heart. Instead of living a life of longing for more, a contented heart enjoys what it has.

GRATITUDE

Having an eye for the blessings in our lives, for the beautiful things and dwelling on those. Giving thanks to God in acknowledgement that there is nothing we have that we have not received from Him. Being grateful in all circumstances, painful or good.

SELFLESSNESS
Giving your time and resources to those who need it. Giving yourself up for a cause that will dry a tear and put a smile on a sad face. Being someone's rainbow and support. Few things are more fulfilling than that.

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

Determining God's Will

In life, when we are at crossroads and need direction, how do we determine God's will for us? What choices do we make? Which way do we go?

When bombarded with all these questions and options, we want to choose the best for ourselves.

There are five guidelines that will help you;

• Pray for guidance and search God's Word... He will never contradict Himself
• Talk and listen to the wise people in your life, they will give you a fine perspective of where you need to go.
• Watch for open and closed doors, opportunities coming and going. When God closes a door, it wasn't meant for you. Look out for the open one.
• Look out for the inner peace or turmoil you experience with regards to a choice you need to make. Always follow the peace in your heart.
• God uses our obedience to God, just take one step at a time as long as it is in God's will. And He will provide light for the next step.

Living a Christian life is a big blessing that calls for making wise choices day by day. Even when we fall, may we get get up and walk on, choosing life. 

Guarding the Heart

Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" 

The heart and mind are the two parts of our lives that determine the state of our being. The mind is in the brain and the heart is in the soul... The mind handles your thought processes and the heart handles your life. We have a duty to take care of both. Today I'll share about the heart.

So many things come at us everyday, and so many things come from us too. It is our duty to take care of our hearts because no one else can do it. Only God cares about it, and He cared enough about it to send His beloved Son to die on the cross and pay for our sins. That way the burden was lifted from us and that makes it possible for us to live in freedom from sin. 

These are some issues of life that spring from the heart;

• Love for God and for people, Luke 10:27 "He answered, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
• Light, 2Corinthians 4:6, "For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ."
• Health, Proverbs 17:22 "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
• The whole fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
• Strength, Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

All these are very important aspects of our lives. We must guard them from sin. The heart suffers from sin in two ways; Sin from the inside and sin from the outside.

Sin from the inside, Mark 7:15, "Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them." And by nothing coming inside, Jesus is talking about food. Our sinful habits defile our hearts. These can be broken by repentance and then obedience to God's Word.

Sin that influences the heart from the outside comes in form of;

• Corrupt friends and family, Psalm 1:1 "Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers" 
• Also from sinful culture, allowing to be influenced with the worldly ways that go against God's Word.

Protect your heart by reading God's Word and meditating on it day and night. Hiding the precepts in your heart that they may be a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path, directing your thoughts and actions.

Also separate yourself, to the extent that is possible, from people whose ways continuously affect you negatively. Forgive them, bless them but tread carefully around them, do not give in to them.

Above all else, surrender yourself in prayer "To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy--"Jude 1:24

Self Mastery

We are all born rebels(though at varying degrees), we rebel against rules... Rules make us want to rebel, naturally. That is why stolen things are sweeter(before you pay the price and start regretting!)

That is also why it is very easy to rebel against ourselves, against our own rules and principles. The man who is able to be his own master is truly a great and distinguished man.

Self mastery, Self control or Strong will mean the same thing..

Merriam-Webster defines it as the power to control one's actions, impulses or emotions. In my own language, the ability to obey oneself.

It is a very important skill as it enables you to follow through with what you decide because you are your own boss.

It is a priceless thing to conquer our bodies. To tame the tongue, for example, is the highest accomplishment one can make in self control. As it is the hardest thing to do. There are easier things though; developing good habits, exercising, sticking to a healthy diet, timekeeping, waking up early, and any other things that don't come naturally.  

These are the things we struggle with in our everyday lives. We know the benefits of following through with them but we keep failing because we keep losing our resolve time and time again, just like new year resolutions. It is okay to go off track shortly as long as you get back on. Do not give up trying.

So how is it possible to make your body obey you?

1. Decide clearly what you want to do
2. Do it
3. Keep doing it (when you fall, get up and go on)

This is very easy when you do not give in to the thoughts inside you that make you procrastinate, weigh options, and strive to make you do things differently.

I have struggled for years with getting up early. I always admired 'early birds' but it was always hard for me. My sleep is sweetest at around 6 a.m. So after many attempts of trying and failing, I finally got how to do it. Set my alarm for whatever time, 4 or 5 a.m, when it goes, turn it off, sit up and get out of bed. No debating and reasoning in my head. I am my worst adviser at such moments. Now I love it, I getup before my alarm goes off  and find myself eager to wake up. No debates!

1 Corinthians 9:26-27

Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

Controlling Reactions

Why do we react the way we do? Because a circumstance brings out a trait in us that is already there. Just like the quality of coffee or tea is determined by hot water.

If ten couples disagreed over the same issue; One may experience a violent reaction from either party, and the other may have a bitter quarrel. One may avoid the subject and suffer with bitterness and anger, and another couple may suffer dead silence. One couple may start treating each other badly and another may choose to have a rational and calm discussion about it and come to an agreement sooner or later.

So whenever you face a challenge, please pause and pray for wisdom on how to best handle it. And if you wisely choose to communicate, please do so in love, using gentle words and not further provoking your partner to sin.

So how we react should not be guaranteed because of the weakness we suffer. With prayer and self control, we can choose to react right.

1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it."

Complaining

Complaining is not a bad thing if done properly. One or two calm conversations about what problems there are, is actually beneficial in a healthy relationship. That way, problems can be worked out and the relationship grows stronger. It is very bad to sweep important things under the carpet. It slowly kills any relationship.

However, constant complaining is the one thing that drains the energy out of those around us. When it is made a habit, one will complain about almost anything and everything. This is a very disturbing thing.

Sometimes we do experience long seasons of problems or discomforts. A long illness, a pregnancy, unemployment and financial struggles, living with a problematic person, etc, etc.. These circumstances will prove to be really trying. But there is a solution; Gratitude. 

The one thing that dispels all complaining is gratitude. Being thankful at all times, in every season. Now, things may be hard, but there are blessings too amidst those troubles. Just look for them and choose to be grateful. Capitalize on your blessings and your problems will fade in comparison.

And if you are living with someone going through such long trying times, it is the best opportunity to show your love for them by patiently supporting them, being kind to them, and offering any kind of physical or material support they may need.

A beautiful hymn goes, 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

  In the light of His glory and grace.

Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without complaining and arguing"

Making the Best out of Anger

It is okay to get angry, even God gets angry and since we are made in His image, we should not be surprised. There are so many events that trigger these monstrous feelings in us. 

Ephesians 4:26 " 'In your anger do not sin', Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."

So, what is important is that you pause, and evaluate your reaction. That way, you will save your relationship a lot of potential damage. Choose wisely then, to make the best out of your anger.

When angry;

• Recognize your wound
• Let God's love fill your heart(through prayer and intention)
• Do not be overcome by evil
• Overcome evil with good(very intentionally)

Anger is actually a blessing in disguise, when handled properly. It can motivate us to do things better, to grow stronger, and to know what how better to go about things in future. 

 Proverbs 29:11

A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back.

Motives

Why do we do the things we do? What are our motives? 

The LORD does not care about what things look like on the outside but He carefully examines the attitudes of our hearts. So, what motivates us? 

Sometimes it is because we want to give people a certain impression, and other times it's because it is the easiest thing to do.

Sometimes our feelings guide us, and other times our knowledge guides us. 

Sometimes it will be because it is wrong(out of spite), and other times because it is right(desire to be holy).

Out of all the myriad of reasons we could possibly do something, one pleases God. Whatever is done in His name and for His glory.

Psalm 19:14 "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight , O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer"

Colossians 3:17 "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the LORD Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

Boasting

Love does not boast. Why? Because boasting is an attempt to make yourself look better in the eyes of whoever is listening and many times, attempts to make those listening feel worse about themselves. This is not loving at all. 

J.R Miller had some thoughts to share about this;
The spirit which prompts a man to talk about himself, however it may be disguised, is really pride and self-conceit; and self conceit is not only a disfiguring blemish in a character; it is also a mark of weakness in a life. 
Its revealing always makes one less strong and influential with one’s fellows. Instead of taking the self-conceited man’s own estimate of himself, people discount it so heavily that they are likely, on account of his self praise--to rate him much below his true value. 
Thus a man's very objective in talking about himself, and proclaiming his own virtues and good deeds--is defeated! He does not receive praise from men--but dislike and depreciation instead!

Let us train ourselves out of the habit of talking about ourselves, and especially praising ourselves before men. Whenever we get the opportunity, let us talk about God and show real interest about the people to whom we are talking.

1Cor 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud"

No Giving Up

To all the children of God out there, some reminders here;

• "The fire at the altar must be kept burning, it must not go out"Lev 6:13
• "Let us not become weary in doing good...."Gal 6:9
• "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good"Rom 12:21

2 Peter 5:5-9

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is short-sighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

Let us not give up.

Suffering Long

"Love can be wronged and wronged and wronged and never wants revenge", says John MacArthur in his sermon on love. 

Oh what an admirable fruit of the spirit, what resilience! Who is capable of that? One who yields to the spirit of God when the circumstance is trying 'beyond limits'. 

It is truly mighty hard to maintain peace in a circumstance that irritates again and again and again and makes one go crazy... It is a golden virtue though and he who can master his attitudes and reactions amidst the craziest of circumstances has great self control.

J.R Miller has this to say about the blessing of patience;

We all need patience. Without it we never really can make anything of our lives. We need it in our homes. The very closeness and familiarity of the family members within our own doors—make it hard at times for us to preserve perfect sweetness of spirit. There is much lack of patience, in most earthly families. We throw off our reserve and our carefulness, and are apt to speak or act disagreeably.

It is easy in the friction that too often is felt in our homes—to lose our patience and speak unadvisedly and unkindly. Such impatient words hurt gentle hearts, sometimes irreparably. But wherever else we may fail in patience—it should not be in our own homes! Only the sweetest life should be lived there. We have not long to stay together—and we should be patient and gentle while we may!

We need the patience of Christ also, in our mingling with others, in our business associations and contacts, in our social relations, and in all our dealings with our neighbors. Not all people are congenial and patient to us. Some want their own way. Some are unreasonable. Some fail to treat us right. Possibly in some cases—the fault may be ours, at least in part. 

Others may sometimes think of us—as we do of them. However this may be, the patience of Christ may teach us to bear with even the most unreasonable people, sweetly and lovingly. He was patient with everyone, and we are to be like Him. If we are impatient with anyone, we fail to be true to the interest of our Master, whom we are always to represent.

1 Corinthians 4:7 "Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud"

True Greatness

Isaiah 57:15

For thus says the High and Lofty One

Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:

“I dwell in the high  and holy place,

With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,

To revive the spirit of the humble,

And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

I love what Jonathan Edwards says about a humility:

A truly humble man is sensible of . . .

  the small extent of his knowledge,
  the great extent of his ignorance,
  and his utter spiritual weakness.

He is sensible . . .
  of his natural distance from God,
  of his dependence upon Him,
  of the insufficiency of his own power and wisdom,
  that it is by God's power that he is upheld and provided for,
  that he needs God's wisdom to lead and guide him, and 
  that he needs His might to enable him to live a holy life.

The man who is under the influence of a humble spirit is content with such a situation as God is pleased to allot to him, is not greedy for honor or fame, and does not strive to appear exalted above his neighbors.

Humility tends also to prevent an arrogant and domineering behavior. On the contrary, humility, disposes a person to a condescending behavior to the vilest and lowest, and to treat inferiors with courtesy and affability — as being sensible of his own despicableness before God.

If we then consider ourselves as the followers of the meek and lowly and crucified Jesus, we shall walk humbly before God and man all the days of our life on earth.

Know God.
Confess your nothingness and ill-desert before Him.
Distrust yourself.
Rely only on Christ.
Renounce all glory except for Him.
Yield yourself heartily to His will and service.

Avoid an aspiring, ambitious, ostentatious, domineering, arrogant, scornful, stubborn, willful, self-justifying behavior; and strive for more and more of the humble spirit that Christ manifested while He was on earth
Earnestly seek then, and diligently and prayerfully cherish a humble spirit — and God shall walk with you here below, and soon shall "Present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy!" Jude 1:24

People Pleasing

I love how Lou Priolo explained the snare of pleasing people in his book Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie. Pleasing people isn't a bad thing at all, but it is a terrible one when we want to please people more than we want to please God. It is a form of the ugly pride we have when we want to maintain  a 'perfect' image of ourselves before people.

Let me share with you the reasons he says it is not even possible to please people:

1. Each person is different and therefore, by pleasing some, you will inevitably displease others
2. People's selfishness distorts their thinking and raises their expectations above that which you can reasonably fulfill
3. Most of them are regenerate and believe you to be  "foolish" and "strange"
4. Even among Christians, judgmental attitudes and critical spirits are all too prevalent
5. Even Jesus the Perfect Man, did not please everyone
6. They are fundamentally incapable of being pleased by anyone or anything other than Christ

So what do we do now? 

We replace our desire to please people with an even greater desire to please God. Here are some of the ways we can do this:

1. Having faith (living with conviction that God keeps His promises)
2. Walking with God (cooperating with God in our transforming of the mind and therefore righteous lifestyle)
3. Living in holiness
4. Doing good works
5. Acquiring knowledge and wisdom
6. Showing gratitude through worship
7. Having godly ambition (looking forward to your reward in heaven)

It takes humility to walk this walk of pleasing God, but God gives us the grace to do so because it is all for His glory.